Buckle up, buttercup. This one’s gonna be a wild ride.

In classic form I am late to the game and just now jumping on the New Girl bandwagon. Not too unlike that time a few months ago when I heard It’s Called: Freefall for the first time and my world was open to the world of Rainbow Kitten Surprise even though they’ve been around for like a decade. Unlike RKS, I knew of New Girl and just thought I was too ma-túre for a silly little sitcom. It wasn’t until my friend, who is the Queen of Not-taking-life-too-seriously-and-seizing-the-joy-within-the-everyday and I were having a lazy day snuggle sesh in front of the TV when she gasped and said, “Oh my god, you’ve never seen New Girl?? I’ve watched it at least 4 times all the way through. It’s one of my top 3 shows.” I self righteously thought to myself, okay, I’ll watch this because you want to watch it even though I typically default to a more **~cerebral~** experience like the Fast and Furious franchise or *laughs in pick-me girl-esque quirk* Lord of the Rings. But it’s so cute that you want to watch New Girl so of course I’ll watch it with you.

My god my interior dialogue can be such an asshole.

In reality, I’m such a fuckin noob. I know NOTHING, Jon Snow. Like lol WHO THE FUQ WAS I to be so goddamn judgmental on so many levels. And honestly, what was my driver behind being judgmental? Why did I think a show like New Girl was beneath me? This is not a rhetorical exercise. Let’s, like, actually work through this. You, C, – the same person who would be willing to scream into a megaphone even when no one is listening about why the Real Housewives franchise is actually an incredibly influential and culturally significant experiment of the female gaze not to mention the riveting social, professional, and personal power dynamics. (I mean, honestly, any other OG viewers who remember the sense of acute captivation when those women in sky tops first come into frame after they opened the gates of Coto De Casa??? Anyone else have a borderline obsessive amount of wonder and intrigue in observing the mainstream popularization of the franchise over the last decade and how that has completely transformed the degree of financial, professional, and social opportunity the show brings those women? Seriously, those betches should be thanking the swiftie-adjacent community of viewers who have emboldened both the unopologetic…)

Did I digress? Back to the point you ADHD riddled self.

Point being is that I both embrace, celebrate, and am just generally deeply spiritually invested in what many others label as “mindless trash that will rot your brain”*, yet “you were too good for New Girl”. Why???

* (Listen, I’m not saying they’re wrong…but I am saying I disagree)

I think because I perceived people who watched sitcoms as people who just consumed what was right in front of them. Something scripted and conjured by a team of writers and producers who know what kind of jokes and will land and personalities viewers will consume. Why watch something entirely artificial when you could watch Real women in Real situations having Real interactions and having to make Real life decisions and ponder the meaning of life in a corporate emboldened capitalism. New Girl isn’t cerebral enough for you, my thoughts said. But C, you can choose to not think those thoughts. Your thoughts could have been, “I haven’t watched this show yet and I’ve heard about it for years so I should probably embrace a new experience especially when you’ve been told multiple times that you remind people of Jess (I now understand how this wasn’t always intended as a compliment) and how your partner has often been told he reminds people of Schmidt (I now understand how this was always intended as a compliment).” I could have chosen to think that thought. I had that choice. But I chose against it.

Instead, I chose to not be fully embracing of the opportunity right in front of me. I chose to think myself superior consequentially “othering” myself in a way that only limits my opportunity to laughter and relatability.

So here I am, learning life lessons from New Girl. Here I am eating crow by realizing that I actually really appreciate how New Girl incorporates so many ingredients of the slowly-and-messily-becoming-the-version-of-yourself-you’re-destined-to-be-so-just-embrace-the-journey-because-life-happens-quickly soup. Actually, that sounds more like a hearty stew.

When we turned on the first episode, my friend blurted out, (¡Spoiler Alert!) “Cece and Schmidt end up together”. I already had a general understanding that Jess/the main character lost broody boy character end up together (Does Nick give off One Tree Hill Lucas energy to anyone else, but in a silly and less **~cerebral~** way? Can’t be just me.) Again, I digress.

Point being is that I went into the viewing experience knowing how the stories end and how the characters’ personal lives take shape over the course of the series. OF COURSE they all end up together. It’s a sitcom. How could it not end in the most cheesily adorable way possible? At this point my high-ass started thinking about how I’m here watching these peoples’ lives unfold before them. Yes it’s scripted and fake, but at the end of the day we’re just watching other people take one step in front of the other, trying to figure out how they can “win the game of life” in a way that success looks and feels right to them. My high ass continues thinking… What if they end up together because they’re supposed to? What if everyone has their own destiny, and that’s Cece and Schmidt and Jess and Nick’s? What if you always end up where you’re “meant to” because deep down that’s what you believe you deserve? What if life is all just some Candyland-eque type game board and we all have to go through our own spin of the Peppermint Forest and have the opportunity to cut through Rainbow Pass (#LoveisLove) where, for at least a brief moment, we all are feelin ourselves like Princess Lolly, better yet, Queen Frostine before desperately trying to avoid getting stuck in mucky Molasses Swamp.

[Honestly, the least relatable (and PC) part of that game is how at the end of the journey, all roads lead to a delicious looking castle where the palm colored King Kandy lives. *Insert joke about how us Millennials and Gen Z’s can’t even afford a starter home because inflation and general cost of living has risen so much faster than wages and as a result our debt to income ratio fuggin blows and so even if we have the cash for a downpayment, we can rarely secure a loan at a reasonable enough rate that would make a mortgage financially accessible.*]

But do you see my point? I’m here. At this point of my life, where I’m messily trying to figure out what I need out of life; which version of myself I want and get to tap into; I’m on my journey. I have to embrace the twist and turns because that’s the name of the Candyland/New Girl game of life. If I’m unhappy where I am then I can CHOOSE to take the pass or soak in the view along the scenic route. I get to choose. I’m going to get to my desired “destination” (I.e. lifestyle) eventually because that’s what my journey is manifesting for itself. I have to trust that I’m going to end up where I’m “meant to” because deep down that’s what I believe I deserve. So crisis mode might rear its ugly head time and time again, but all I really have is this moment. All I really have is today.

We can’t control exactly what how and what our journey will look like but we can choose to use every moment to get us one step closer towards where we believe we’re meant to be. That’s really all we can do. One step in front of another.

Molasses Swamps are inevitable in life. We’re all going to get stuck in it here and there. And while we can’t control how thick, sticky, deep, or large the swamp might be, we do hold some degree of control around how we tackle it. Those journey’s are allowed to look different depending on where we are in life when we face it – sometimes we might fight like hell and others we might just feel so drained that we succumb to the sticky tides and let them take us where it may until we’ve regained strength. But point being is we are not entirely without autonomy no matter what life throws at us. We have a degree of control in our lives because we decide where we’re going, what we’re heading towards, what we’re fighting for. We might not be able to control how messy the journey is, but we have the power to manifest exactly what our endgame looks like, feels like.

So next time you watch New Girl and want to grab Nick by the shoulders and scream at him, “JUST TELL HER YOU LOVE HER ALREADY AND KISS HER” tell that to yourself instead. TELL YOU YOU LOVE YOU ALREADY AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

See? I’ve learned an incredibly valuable lesson. Even New Girl can be cerebral!

Note: I introduce the above evidence as exhibit A of how my brain talks itself into buying an RV and becoming a digital nomad.

C