I’ve begrudgingly returned to America after four weeks in Europe. I cringe at how obnoxiously waspy that both sounds and is. Before you judge the degree of pretentiousness too scathingly, please, allow me the opportunity to explain myself. Despite marrying him more than two years ago, my *gulps away an itchiness at how awkward the succeeding word still feels on my palate* husband and I never took a honeymoon; perpetually waiting for the Right Time. To our dismay, we live in America where PTO comes in a short supply and so the plans never made it out of the daydream stage. There it remained; a glimmering, mystical image of a grand adventure One Day.
Gradually, we began to realize a silver lining to living during the End Times: the ever-looming shadow of societal collapse can, if you allow it, make it somewhat easier to embrace the present. Carpe diem as the Roman empire enamored bros might say. Day after day, as one opportunity after the next to meaningfully combat the climate crisis and/or dismantle the toxic, racist, sexist, hellishly patriarchal system that controls society continued to crumble away to dust, we started to wonder…what exactly were we waiting for? With every passing day the promise of tomorrow is becoming increasingly questionable; we may as well use our credit card points before it’s too late (read: before white man’s greed driven ineptitude to treat this world with any element remotely constructive for the greater good triggers WW3 and/or mass extinction).
Despite my discomfort with the term husband and distrust for the male species at large, I love my man dearly and I actually enjoy spending extended periods of time with him. And bonus points: he works for a company HQ’ed in Amsterdam. So, when he was scheduled to fly across the pond, we decided to put our hoarded travel points to use, cash in the entirety of his 2025 PTO, and Carpe fucking Diem. This would be our two-year belated honeymoon, goddamnit.
Three countries; The Netherlands, Norway, and Spain; four weeks. Each country had its own flavor, own feel, and stamped its culture into my spirit in different ways. Amsterdam feels like my values externalized in a community; palpable, so distinctly tangible that it almost feels familiar – like it played an important role in a past life that I can feel but don’t remember. Norway felt ancient and magical yet still rational, grounded, and utilitarian. As though the entire country has collectively agreed that much of the bullshit attached to modern living is corny as hell and so they all retreat into the woods to go berry picking for jam or homemade wine. It taught me that independence and interdependence aren’t opposites – they’re fraternal twins. Spain feels alive and free – liberation in motion. Everywhere we explored had a current of vibrancy so profound you could taste it. The intoxicating flavor profile leads with a bold and unapologetic celebration of joy, followed by a lingering savor of life, and a sweet aftertaste of pleasure.
I forgot how good being alive can feel. How, sometimes, walking through life can feel like you’re skipping through a kaleidoscope of beautifully candy-colored moments, experiences, and emotions. How bizarre that I couldn’t tell you the last time I felt such fullness of spirit (or had that high of an average step count) while going through the motions of life in the States. That couldn’t have anything to do with the current administration or the general socio-political state of affairs back in America, could it?
I’ll take a moment now to preemptively state that I’m aware no place is perfect – perfect doesn’t exist, as my therapist would say! But at large, I bore witness to individuals living rather than the ever familiar survival mode that hangs low and thick and stale in the American air.
I saw that living looked like morning dives from a houseboat in the rural Netherlands. In Norway, I watched a mom carrying three reusable bags and two kids out of the grocery just to place everything and everyone onto a bicycle and head home, but not before a smiley conversation with a familiar face. I observed a baker’s dozen of shrunken elderly women walk arm in arm, gabbing ravenously, sometimes in nothing but a swimsuit on the streets of Barcelona. People were living with smiles on their faces. While each culture had their own flair to the definition of what “thriving” meant across each of the communities – rural, urban, suburban, modern, weathered – still, everywhere people were doing it: thriving.
Having such an extended period of time without my typical tethers to the culture war back home, a nascent faith in humanity was gently reignited within. I now hold a budding wonder that perhaps I should have a dash more hope for our global community. But almost paradoxically, with every day I saw life as it could be lived, I also grew mad as hell.
We could have this. We should have this. All of us.
I’m not going to try to theorize world peace (although I do believe it would be possible if patriarchy was systematically eradicated across the globe), so instead I’ll start small. I’ll start with just one country: the United States of America.
You know that saying women say to their besties when expressing concern regarding a toxic partner, “if he wanted to, he would”? That. That, but instead of being in a toxic relationship with a single man, we’re all in a toxic relationship with a system built by men for a country designed by and for men. If America wanted Americans to thrive, our communities and lives would look drastically different than they do today.
If the holistic American system held genuine interest in uplifting its people, we the people, we would all be walking through life with a far more robust sense of agency, safety, possibility, curiosity, and community. Just as I would tell my girlfriend about her shitty boyfriend: sincere interest, care, and effort is displayed through action (legislation, investment, enforced protections); not excuses (tell me again who the GOP is blaming for the government shutdown..?).
We could have a country filled with communities of individuals living – thriving. America could afford to make that happen tomorrow if that was the mission leaders set their minds to. We’re the “wealthiest” country on the planet goddamnit, yet we can’t afford to build protected bike lanes in our cities and libraries in rural towns? We can have the largest military budget on the planet, spending more than the next seven largest military budgets around the world, combined, yet it is widely cited that there is not a location in the U.S. where a single full-time minimum wage worker can reliably afford a typical 2-bedroom apartment? Billionaires with mega yachts can cozy up with policy makers in Washington while the US remains one of the only developed nations on the planet that does not have a federal law mandating paid maternity leave for all workers? Make it make sense.
But you can’t. I can’t. Because it’s not supposed to. Because the American system is rigged. The American system is rigged against the average American. The ever growing not-so-free-market capitalist machine is all but pre-destined to remain the perpetual victor and Washington has gone all in on its hand.
With every corner of my nervous system that healed during our trip, another part of my brain seized with tension. It became infuriatingly apparent how Americans live in a physical, economic, and political space where we are constantly funneled toward exhaustion, hyper-convenience, and centralized consumption. How much of the freedom, joy, agency, curiosity, has been carved away from our national community. We’re not meant to have accessible options, community-oriented living, or time to breathe. Rest doesn’t profit! Health doesn’t profit! Slowness doesn’t profit! Yet, as unfathomable as it may seem to our Americentric minds, bless our hearts, the communities in which priorities appeared to be positioned nearly 180° from ours (less pointed at hyper-efficiency and productivity) somehow still manage to thrive.
How bizarre.
The American system isn’t built for us to thrive. It’s built for us to get by. It’s built for us to struggle, to stagnantly remain in a position of emotional and financial distress. It pushes us to the edge of the cliff, forcing us to cling to The System or else fall to an all-but-certain death, then proceeds to turn around and tell us we should be thankful “they” saved us even though they pushed us off the road they built. America is built to keep us in survival mode. All the easier to exploit you with, my dear.
If America wanted Americans to thrive:
- quality healthcare would be free to everyone.
- religious dogma wouldn’t influence legislation nor be weaponized to manipulate.
- extended leave for parents, regardless of how one became a parent, would be mandated
- schools and universities would be fully funded
- politics and religion would play no role in curriculum
- pursuing an advanced degree wouldn’t keep you in debt until you die.
- generous PTO would be guaranteed and protected, not deemed a luxury that you’re not actually supposed to use because Carl really needs that report by Friday.
- fruits and vegetables would be cheaper and more accessible than McDonalds and Flamin Hot Cheetos and gas station grabs.
- public spaces and community centers would be accessible and safe.
- guns would be responsibly (read: heavily) regulated
- the lucky children wouldn’t have to practice active shooter drills while the less lucky ones have to watch their friends die or worse.
- mental health services would be abundant, accessible, and de-stygmatized to prevent mass shootings before they had the opportunity to begin.
(need this list continue? No, but I will anyway)
If America wanted Americans to thrive:
- no person would go bankrupt for undergoing medical treatment
- childcare wouldn’t cost as much, or more, than rent.
- felons wouldn’t be allowed to be president
- individuals wouldn’t be kidnapped off the streets
- industries, institutions, and individuals would be criminalized for corrupting public servants – individuals who are voted in by the Public to serve the Public. Not billionaires.
- none of these would be considered radical statements.
This is a nonrhetorical request: I want you to close your eyes for a moment and imagine standing in whatever space you feel most safe, most at peace, most comfortable. Now imagine you also feel a satisfying, gratifying fullness following a well balanced meal of unprocessed foods. Your body feels tired as it goes to work digesting and transferring vital nutrients throughout your body, so you lay down to rest. Your body grows heavier as you doze off to the outside sounds of children’s laughter while busy at play. This is your home, your peace, your joy, your safety, your medicine. Imagine what you would be capable of creating for yourself if your reality was injected with more moments just like this. Your basic human needs – safety, nutrition, rest, connection, and belonging – both met and fervently protected by you, your community, and those who you elect to represent your well being.
There are very real physiological effects of having your basic human needs met. Your heart rate and blood pressure stabilize and your stress levels drop. While in this healthy stasis, your body has time and resources to regenerate, to heal. In this state, the human body is likely to experience greater emotional stability and resilience, a stronger libido, improved sleep quality, better digestion, lower rates of anxiety, less fatigue, and more energy. Your improved hormone levels and sleep regulation drives improved cognitive function, skin repair, immune strength, and a reduction in chronic inflammation. When this happens, your body is able to produce more antibodies which improves resistance to infections and faster healing from injury or illness. Health – but it sounds more like magic to me.
Our lives and our experience of being alive fundamentally change when we are afforded the opportunity to step out of survival mode and into a state of regulation and repair. Out of a contractive state and into an expansive state. Out of fight or flight and into rest and recharge.
Wherever you are in your vignette of prosperity, now take it one step further. Imagine the limitless possibilities scaled beyond yourself: to your friends, your family, neighbors, your entire community. What would they look like? How would it feel, seeing the people and places you cherish thrive? How would your life change, being a part of something so beautiful, something so magical? Imagine the communal reverberations of the general collective having their basic human needs met. What would the form and frequency of conflict, the volume of art, the number of unhoused individuals, the rate of divorce, life expectancy, or [insert any variable here] look like when a culture is built around allowing and affording bodies and minds the time and space to rest when it’s weary, to explore inner and external worlds, to have the energy and accessible resources necessary to create, learn, and grow. Americans deserve that too. All humans do.
I interrupt your daydream with an important message from our lifestyle sponsors (corporate america): “But with all that health, what would become of our insurance companies? Who would buy all the processed, packaged, and fast foods sold by a handful of companies under a variety of brand names, providing the illusion of choice? Why would anyone tolerate abhorrent treatment by an employer? Who would keep the economy in motion if you no longer felt the need to purchase self care, a sense of comfort, or an emotional numbing vice? You can’t just create it on your own peace; it can’t just be free for the taking. That would be socialism! Those radical leftists want to destroy America and hate Jesus!”
The cultural conversations today escalate quickly from “we just want everyone to have free healthcare” to “you eat babies and are a threat to America. But also you’re a soft, sensitive snowflake”. If I observed that kind of gaslighting, manipulation, and emotional abuse in any of my friends’ lives, I’d grab them by the shoulders (not the pussy), look deep into their eyes and say, “If he wanted to he would. Excuses don’t mean shit. Actions mean everything. You deserve better.” Then I’d pull them in for a big, long, strong hug while playing the timeless hymn by the apostle Lizzo that states, “girl, if he don’t love you anymore. Then walk your fine ass out the door.”
Big industry is right about one thing though. It is dangerous for us to have all that health and agency and freedom of choice. But it’s not a threat to us. It’s not a threat to me, my mother, my MAGA uncle, or a farmer harvesting corn in the great plains. It is only a threat to those gunning for and profiting off the consolidation of wealth. When we have the opportunity and resources to move and fuel our bodies, the less need we have for urgent-cares and sleep apnea machines. When we read a book and expand our minds and knowledge, we’re less susceptible to propaganda and coercion and manipulation. When we share resources with our neighbors and foster an interconnected community, the less we need big box retailers or engage with bots that are algorithmically created to enrage us and derive a sense of emotional isolation. Strength, knowledge, and resources don’t serve the 1%. They only serve you, and your family, and your community. And we can’t have that! Or can we?
If the last year has taught me anything, it’s that how we spend our time and money is political. When the politics of this country are designed to serve a system rather than its people, caring for yourself and others is an act of resistance. In this chapter of not being beholden to a 9-5, I’ve been afforded the opportunity to slowly build a life of intentionality; one that aligns with my values and dreams for my, our future. Each change that embeds its way into my life is intended to reflect my core values and foster resilience by braiding together I-can-do-it independence and when-I-can’t interdependence. I’ve also learned that there are endless opportunities to defy the system, both small and large, free and not. We can re-learn how to reject kissing the hand that’s choking us. Yes, it takes more time, more effort, and oftentimes more money, but it’s an opportunity to seize agency and claim space in an era where the system wants us all to feel like we’re all too small, like we’ve already lost.
Having our basic human needs met; our opportunity to thrive as a people; our vision for a more just and equitable and resilient world is a direct threat to the rapidly consolidating billionaire class at the top of the corporate America food chain. I hate to quote a man who purchased fellow humans, but for the sake of emotionally connecting with those who identify as “patriots” and hold reverence for the founding fathers and the American constitution, even Thomas Jefferson said, “a little rebellion now and then is a good thing.”
TJ said this in a letter to his old pal James Madison – you know, the guy who wrote the United States Constitution – in response to a citizen uprising against the government for imposing high taxes and poor economic conditions. I’m going to reiterate this point: the 3rd president of the United States told the 4th president of the United States that organized uprisings and a general “spirit of resistance” was necessary in order to prevent the government from infringing on the rights of the American people.
Well, if you say so…😈
Ultimately, this essay boils down to one point: Americans get royally fucked —intentionally, purposefully, and by design. I think it’s pretty easy to tell this by any number of the unprecedented headlines we read on the daily. But this corruption and greed didn’t start in January; it’s always been here. We are where we are because of it. When you neglect and devalue the human experience, you numb yourself to humanity, and ultimately begin to accept inhumanity. My butthole clenches a bit when I let my mind linger too long on what kind future is likely for a humanity built on inhumanity. Scary stuff.
I know Europe doesn’t have it figured out either. I know that alt-right dynamics are rising globally. I know what I crave is but a mirage. But even still: I dream of an America that looks a bit more like Europe. Mind-bending streetscapes would be nice, but I’d settle for pedestrian friendly infrastructure and functional public transit. I dream of biking from my house to one of several independent markets providing high quality and ultra-local whole foods. I picture myself walking with a giddy smile on my face under fruit bearing trees incorporated into the urban canopy coverage. I worship the mirage of being able to enjoy public spaces and events with a comfort secure enough to consciously release my tight grasp on a deeply ingrained hyper-vigilance to random acts of (gun) violence. Oh, and don’t even get me started on the hustle culture of it all. The Spanish nailed it. Give us siestas or give us death!
Sometimes leaving home reminds you what kind of home you’re trying to build. I return from my travel inspired and enraged and reminded of why I am building Zillennial Hippie – as resistance, as remembering. To create something that celebrates slow, intentional, liberated living. To stand in solidarity with anyone, anywhere who wants to play their part, no matter the size, in resisting against the capitalist driven convenience culture, in opposing inhumane ICE abductions, in defying corrupted elected officials and public figures, and deposing the corrosion of checks and balances and separation of church and state, and rejecting and refusing to complying with all other facets of the alt-right agenda.
If America wanted to, it would. But it doesn’t, so it won’t. Therefore, it is up to us. The whole be the change you wish to see in the world, has never held more true. We’re in the thick of it and, now more than ever, how we spend our time and money matters. Our lives, and how we live them, just might depend on it.
